How To Worship

How does one worship? With arms in the sky, head thrown back? Quietly sitting in a darkened room, illuminated only by soft candlelight? By meditating? By singing, dancing, drumming, strumming, fucking? 

How does one worship? In a group where there are fabulous props? Or in solitude with nothing at all? By laughing, crying, whispering, screaming? How does one worship!

How does one worship? To all the Gods, or none? By walking, sleeping, crafting, or sitting? I ask you, how does one worship? 

How does one worship!

Hug a tree, play a drum, sit in silence, divination, 

say a prayer, dance around, invoke deity, send a well-wish,

light a candle, chant out loud, cast a spell, create a picture.

I do all of these, and more. 

I worship any way that moves me. You?

D is for Death

I realize that I’m a few days behind in posting on time. Due to major back pain, I’ve not been able to sit at the computer for any length of time. In fact, after work, I’ve been going right to bed and resting.

However, I’m slowly getting better. I’ve been going to the massage place every three days and getting worked on. Here’s hoping that I recover fully and soon.

Today’s topic is due to last night’s discussion during lessons. Somehow in the midst of learning about the Air element, we got on to talking about death and our believe system. Because it wasn’t the time, I held back a lot of what was going through my mind. I figured that I would write about it, so I am now going to do just that.

The first thing that I want to say right off the bat is that I do believe in reincarnation. I have thought about this for good number of years, and I feel that we are here to learn things in life. Each life is a different ‘class’. You may need to learn certain things and will keep repeating a lesson until you do. I also hold loosely to the fact that life is a dream, and that when we die, we are actually are awaken to our true selves. Life is a sort of hell/purgatory and you can only learn and grow if you go through life. Also, I am slowly embracing that there are many worlds and different realms that we end up on (or that we come from) . I realize how far fetched and fantastic this sounds. There are entire mythologies around the world that had to have started from somewhere. Perhaps, people remember snippets of such fantastic creatures such as satyrs, pheonixes, vampires, or faeries?

I realize that a lot of people have ‘old souls’, meaning people who’ve been reincarnated many times. I also realize that there is a fresh new wave of ‘new souls’ that are now here, and more are still coming. My knowledge is slim, but I know that there are the Indigos (which I believe I may be one) and then there are the Crystal and the newly-termed Rainbow children. It seems that there is a rash of new souls coming, almost as if they’re paving the way for humanity’s change. However, that is slightly off-topic and I want to focus on Death. There are guides, spirit helpers, angels, whatever you call them, to help out people throughout this life.

I also believe that there is a Summerland, a heaven, an Afterlife. There is no Hell. There is an abundance of joy and happiness, a calm sense of peace one never fully feels until they die. Everybody who has passed on before you is there. Your pets are there, among with all the animals that have passed on. It’s a beautiful place. In my mind, it’s always Summer, the perfect temperature.

Going back to reincarnation, I feel that you can become a plant, an animal, as well as a person. I’m not to sure about rocks and other inanimate nature-objects yet. But, to quote Pocahontas:

But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name’

Now, I admit that because a lot of religions profess reincarnation as a belief, it doesn’t necessary mean it’s true. When one looks inside onself for a good long while, they begin to admit that it’s a very scary idea that once we die, that’s it. That’s all she wrote. Good bye, the end, etc. Maybe we all feel better about ourselves because we believe in this living after dying stuff. I know that when I start thinking that maybe there isn’t a god, and how we’re all just an accident that happened by sheer chance because of evolution, I feel very alone and scared. It just seems to me that too many people remember past lives through dreams, visions, soul quests, hypnosis or just plain remembering. Is it all just a world-wide hoax, a mass affect that has spread from continent to continent. Skeptics will have proof from various studies, showing that due to the boom of the sudden interest, everybody was remembering the ‘bright light at the end of a long dark tunnel’. Perhaps this is a symptom due to the popularity and easy access of books that sprang up on the subject. However, I am certainly not a good theologist or a philosopher of any sort, but it’s worth pondering about.

Now, I realize that I’ve talked a lot about reincarnation, so I’ll bring this round to the topic at hand. Death, to me, is just another adventure. You are born, you live, you die. It happens to everybody. Nobody is immune to it. It’s a part of life, it’s natural. I have never understood why people shun the topic of death. I’ve always been fascinated with it. I’m not scared of death. (It’s how I’ll die that frightens me.) Death is an old friend, waiting patiently for my return. I like the fact that the Mexican’s celebrate death instead of being afraid of it. If you look at pictures of Día de los Muertos, you will see that honouring the dead can be a happy time. Sugar skulls, bright colours, grinning skeletons in fancy attire, what’s not to love?

Emperor, your sword won’t help you out
Sceptre and crown are worthless here
I’ve taken you by the hand
For you must come to my dance

Oh geez, not another survey!!!

B A S I C S

Do you have a magical/Pagan name? No, but I will when I’m initiated into my Tradition.
What does it mean? It’s not applicable at this time.
How did you find Paganism? To be honest, I found it when I was heavily into my New Age phrase. I honestly don’t remember, but I think in the New Age section in Chapters.
How long have you been practising? Actively, for seven or eight months or so. I’m a student, so yay newb! I’ve been reading up on it for fifteen years, though.
Solitary or group practitioner? . I practice with my peers while in class, but otherwise, I’m a solitary. I’m hoping to start a coven when I gain more experience.
What is your path? Wiccan lessons, but leaning towards Asatru. For the most part, I’m eclectic.
Are you out of the broom closet? Yup!

D E I T Y

Who is your patron God? I don’t have one, but I’m really interested in Loki and Odin at the moment. Pan and Cernunnos have a special place in my heart, as well.
Who is your patron Goddess? I don’t have one yet. I haven’t connected to any of the Goddesses due to personal issues.
What Gods do you worship? I usually call about Pan, Cernnunos, or the Lord. I did call upon Odin once.
Do you fear darkly aspected Gods/Goddess, or rather respect them? No. I’m attracted to them, to be honest. I think that’s why I like Pan and Loki so much, as well as Morrighan and Kali.
Do you worship the Christian God? I’ve tried, several times throughout my life. I can’t. I just can’t connect.
Do you ever worship animals? No, but Shamanism is very interesting to me. Animal Totemism is something I’m reading up on right now.
Or plants? One step at a time, my friend. But, I’m not opposed to it. Maybe later, when I’m more comfortable.

N A T U R E

Do you regularly commune with nature? I’m trying to find the time.
Ever walked barefoot in the woods? Yes, but it was more from a camping trip and I couldn’t find my shoes in the dark. Still, I love the woods and I’d like to have another camping trip, for a more spiritual journey.
Taken a camping trip just to talk to nature? Negative.
Describe the moment you felt closest to Mother Earth? I had been really stressed for months, slightly depressed. It was night time, and my room mates had gone to bed, but one. My friend was out with me and I told him I needed to be meditating for a few, but he was welcome to watch from a distance. I didn’t have shoes on, and as I sank into the grass, which was slightly wet from the rain prior, a calm came over me. It was stunning. I just soaked up the energy the Earth was giving to me and I must have stayed like that, still and silent, for ten minutes.
Do you have a familiar? No, I do not.
Have you ever called upon the powers of an animal in ritual? No, not until I study a bit more, I think.
Or a plant? See above.
Do you hug trees? Yes. On a whim, without embarrassment. I love trees and show them that by hugging. I always feel a hum when I do. It’s invigorating.
Give them gifts? I ‘talk’ to them and thank them for being a wonderful presence and giving air.
What is your favourite flower to work with? I don’t work with flowers.
What is your favourite tree to work with? Likewise, I don’t work with trees.

W H E E L . O F . T H E . Y E A R

What is your favourite holiday?. Samhain. Beltane.
What is your least favourite holiday? Christmas. Due to my always working in retail, I can never have the time off to go home to see my family.
Have you ever held a ritual on a holiday? Yes. Samhain. It was quite the experience since that was my first ritual and we only had a month to plan it. We pulled it off and everybody was impressed!
Ever taken a day off work to celebrate a Pagan holiday? Yes.
Do you celebrate Yule on the 21 rather than the 25? I celebrate both since most of the people I know don’t do Yule. I think it’s great, since I get the best of both.
Have you ever felt the veil thin? Yes. I end up not sleeping very well, but when I do sleep, I get vivid dreams. Also, I find it hard to discern between dreams and reality, the dreams get that vivid. It’s akin to deja-vu.
Ever danced the Maypole? Yes I have, and it was fantastic! It felt like we had been dancing for fifteen minutes, when it was only two minutes. It was the strangest thing.
Know what the Maypole symbolizes? The question is, do you? Yes, I do.
How do you usually celebrate the Pagan holidays? Considering I’m still on my ‘year and a day’, I haven’t really.

D I V I N A T I O N

Do you use Tarot? I’m trying to learn, but I’m finding it very difficult.
Do you use runes? I will when I finish making my set. This pagan is very lazy.
Do you use a pendulum? I do have one. It’s just a matter of finding the time.
Do you use dowsing rods? No, and I do not have any interest in learning.
Do you use astrology? Not seriously, no.
Any other form of divination? I use my Oracle cards, and my dreams.

S P E L L S

What was the first spell you did? A binding spell, many years ago, to prevent someone from continuing to harm me.
What was the latest? Well-wishes for my health. I have on going minor-health issues. Back pain, etc.
Ever done a love spell? No. If I did, it would be to strengthen the love that myself and my significant other have for each other.
A job spell? Yes.
A healing spell? Yes.
What was the most powerful spell you’ve ever performed? Not gonna tell.
What deities do you usually call on? I believe I’ve already stated that above.

C R Y P T O Z O O L O G Y

Do you believe in Vampires? Psychic ones, yes. Real vampires, not so much.
Werewolves? Not in the conventional sense.
Shapeshifters? Again, not in the conventional sense, but yes.
Elves? Yes
Faeries? Yes, since I’m positive that they keep taking my items that I favour.
Dragons? Not really, no.
Nymphs? Mmmmm, no.
Sprites? Yes.
Mermaids? No
Satyrs? Yes and no.
Ever “seen” any of the above? Nope, but I felt a presence of a faery. I’ve also been attacked viciously by a psychic vampire over the course of a year or so. Nasty stuff.
Ever talked to any of the above? Yes.
Ever used any of the above in magic? I’ve asked for their help.
Do you have one of them as a personal guardian? No, I believe not.

R A N D O M

Do you see a rabbit, a man or a woman in the moon? I used to see a man, long time ago. Now, all I see is the Rabbit on the Moon. I have to look hard for the man to see it.
Own a cat? Yes, and she’s been meowing at me off and on all night.
When you meditate, what does your happy place look like? Pleasant. That is something I will not divulge as it’s rather private.
Do you work with Chakras? I would like too.
Do you believe in past lives? Yes.
If so, describe a few briefly: I don’t know about them, though.
Do you have a spirit guide? Yes. But she’s as cryptic as a riddle is.
Is it always love and light? How can you have love and light without hate and darkness?

Worshipping the Gods

While I was in Bible College, a friend started a discussion about how one feels during worship in the chapel versus worship in solitude. At the time, I was insulted. How dare he say one doesn’t get enough of God while alone, than with a chapel full of people. 

However, as years went by, and I began to see how wise he was. The same applies to how I worship now. Ever since I’ve started my studies and lessons and joining with Evergreen in celebrating our spirituality, I’ve noticed a pattern. When I’m by myself, I feel disconnected and that it’s all for naught. When I’m at a Sabbat, the energy is high and boisterous and I feel oh-so connected to the Gods and Goddesses and the spirit world. 

I’ve been trying to ascertain as to why that is. Is it because when I’m alone, I can’t get that energy? Do I still have that mental block of ‘I can’t do this? This feels hokey?’

Don’t get me wrong. I love connecting, I love casting circles, and I love everything about my religion. Maybe it’s because I’m still unfocused when I’m alone. I find it hard to concentrate and I start thinking of other things about the path. When I’m with a group, with perfect love and trust, I can feel the energy and it helps me focus. There are no mundane thoughts running through my head to distract me. I’m kept on the task at hand. 

The Gods are very important to me, and I feel it necessary to show them respect. It’s not that I think I fail them. I just feel that they deserve more from me. I realize that with time and patience, things will improve. 

I am not the most patient person.