I is for Introspection

There are things that just make life so special, so amazing, that it’s sometimes hard to just act rational. The other day, I heard the wing beats of two geese flying over head. Looking up, I saw them fly above me and the sound was just so beautiful, I closed my eyes to just listen. After that, I was filled with such energy, that I wanted to cry out and dance and run amok. Unfortunately, I was on my way to work, and Lord knows that that would make other people uncomfortable. So I didn’t. I refrained from reveling in my joy at life.

What makes us do that? Is it because we don’t want to be seen as absurd? Is it that we, as adults, have lost the innocence, have strayed from living out joy? Why are kids allowed to act like this and not adults? Who decided that to act on a whim, on such pure bliss, is immature? What makes such behavior uncomfortable for others?

I find it sad that we can’t act out our joy, our happiness. I know that at work, if someone is laughing hysterically, people who aren’t ‘in on the joke’ glance at each other as if to say ‘crazy person afoot!’. Just because one person in a moment of time has let loose and enjoyed themselves to the fullest capacity does not make them crazy.

A chant

We had chants class a few weeks ago. And the last few days, curious as to what else was out there, I went and searched youtube. I found a really beautiful song that shook me to my core. I was laying in bed and I just felt so peaceful. Everything felt  … green …. to me. That’s the only way that I can explain it. It was so calming and so peaceful and I felt so loved by all the Gods. I started to pray, but found that I got more out of it by just relaxing and just listening to the music wash over me.

Here it is for your listening pleasure:

no, I’m not dead

It’s been an entire month since I posted.

Work has been crazy busy. In fact, I just finished working fifteen days in a row! There were various family emergencies at both stores that my boss lady has been managing. However, now that things are seemingly going to be settling down, and I have three days off and a fourth day on call (here’s hoping a co worker actually shows up this shift!) I now have more time on my hands that I know what to do with.

First things first. Because I blog without obligation, I’m not sorry for not posting. I AM sorry that I haven’t had enough time TO post. (If that makes sense?) Anyway, I’m hoping to catch up on the Pagan Blog Project. I’m coming to the end of the Wiccan studies. Only a handful of classes and then I’ll find my Tuesday nights free. I’m a bit sad since I know that I’m not going to taking the second degree courses right away, if I even take them at all.

I am not to sure where my path lies. I know that my other two classmates, lucky souls, know exactly where they stand. With me, not so much. I’m not to sure if I’m going to be going down the path they are, or if it’s going to be a totally new one. It’s my own to explore, and while I’m apprehensive and scared, I’m a bit excited. I know that the wanting to be learning right along side them is a part of why I’m reluctant to ‘part ways’ so to speak. Upon realizing that, I know that the spiritual path is for oneself and oneself alone. I need to not loose focus on that.

There is so much contemplation going on right now. A lot of going back and forth. I’m not to sure where I stand and it’s seriously pissing me off. Yes, I realize it’s not about what you know, but how you get there, or something like that, but my patience is not very thick at the moment. To take stock on what exactly I believe in and what I don’t, I think the essay that J’s handed us will be a great help in realizing that.

I admit, I really enjoyed the classroom and how organized it was. I don’t do ‘off the wall’ very good, especially if I’m by myself. I need a plan, a goal, something to work on. Otherwise, I try to take on too much and merely become overwhelmed. I plan on doing a lot of deep introspective thinking, and contemplating on what exactly the future holds for me. We’ll see what happens, then.

D is for Dead Can Dance

I happened upon Dead Can Dance by chance. I was listening to some soundtracks, and decided to listen to ‘We Are Free’ from Gladiator. I have always loved that song, and the female vocalist is something amazing. Well, deciding to finally figure out who she was, I googled her. Then, listened to some of her music and that’s when I found DCD. I haven’t looked back since.

Dead Can Dance evokes wonderful feelings in me. There is the song ‘Anastasia’ that is just so brilliantly done. It’s on their latest album, which I absolutely love. ‘The Host of Seraphim’ is another example of how perfect this band can be. ’How Fortunate The Man With None’ is powerful. The music and the lyrics pack a powerful punch for me. They are akin to angels singing down to us, is how I truly feel.

The moods that they can instantly put me into is pure magic. Sadness, euphoria, contemplating and even fear. While listening to them, it always gets me thinking. It makes me feel that what I’m searching for is the truth.

I am a music collector, and I love things that evoke the spirituality in me .

I will leave you with this.

Boo!

I realize I may have missed a for Pagan Blog posts. Unfortunately, it seems as if there is zero time for me lately. I get up at four thirty am for work, and I’m in bed by seven thirty. I have no energy or the time to do anything but watch an hour (or two if I’m lucky) of tv. I started watching True Blood again. This shift is only for another week, so until then, I may or may not post. We’ll see.

Witchcraft 101?

I’ve been trying to build up a spell from scratch. It’s a healing spell, and because I have never worked with herbs, I wanted to try that out. Despite my handful of herbal books, not one has told me how to use the herbs. They only tell me what the herbs do and what the uses are.

However, if I want to create a healing spell and I have the herbs all picked out, what do I do with them? None of the books tell me! Where does one find this information? Do I burn the herbs? Do I brew them? I have zero clue! I need a comprehensive ‘course’ on how to work herbal magic. Unfortunately, I have yet to find a book that satisfies my questions.

D is for Death

I realize that I’m a few days behind in posting on time. Due to major back pain, I’ve not been able to sit at the computer for any length of time. In fact, after work, I’ve been going right to bed and resting.

However, I’m slowly getting better. I’ve been going to the massage place every three days and getting worked on. Here’s hoping that I recover fully and soon.

Today’s topic is due to last night’s discussion during lessons. Somehow in the midst of learning about the Air element, we got on to talking about death and our believe system. Because it wasn’t the time, I held back a lot of what was going through my mind. I figured that I would write about it, so I am now going to do just that.

The first thing that I want to say right off the bat is that I do believe in reincarnation. I have thought about this for good number of years, and I feel that we are here to learn things in life. Each life is a different ‘class’. You may need to learn certain things and will keep repeating a lesson until you do. I also hold loosely to the fact that life is a dream, and that when we die, we are actually are awaken to our true selves. Life is a sort of hell/purgatory and you can only learn and grow if you go through life. Also, I am slowly embracing that there are many worlds and different realms that we end up on (or that we come from) . I realize how far fetched and fantastic this sounds. There are entire mythologies around the world that had to have started from somewhere. Perhaps, people remember snippets of such fantastic creatures such as satyrs, pheonixes, vampires, or faeries?

I realize that a lot of people have ‘old souls’, meaning people who’ve been reincarnated many times. I also realize that there is a fresh new wave of ‘new souls’ that are now here, and more are still coming. My knowledge is slim, but I know that there are the Indigos (which I believe I may be one) and then there are the Crystal and the newly-termed Rainbow children. It seems that there is a rash of new souls coming, almost as if they’re paving the way for humanity’s change. However, that is slightly off-topic and I want to focus on Death. There are guides, spirit helpers, angels, whatever you call them, to help out people throughout this life.

I also believe that there is a Summerland, a heaven, an Afterlife. There is no Hell. There is an abundance of joy and happiness, a calm sense of peace one never fully feels until they die. Everybody who has passed on before you is there. Your pets are there, among with all the animals that have passed on. It’s a beautiful place. In my mind, it’s always Summer, the perfect temperature.

Going back to reincarnation, I feel that you can become a plant, an animal, as well as a person. I’m not to sure about rocks and other inanimate nature-objects yet. But, to quote Pocahontas:

But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name’

Now, I admit that because a lot of religions profess reincarnation as a belief, it doesn’t necessary mean it’s true. When one looks inside onself for a good long while, they begin to admit that it’s a very scary idea that once we die, that’s it. That’s all she wrote. Good bye, the end, etc. Maybe we all feel better about ourselves because we believe in this living after dying stuff. I know that when I start thinking that maybe there isn’t a god, and how we’re all just an accident that happened by sheer chance because of evolution, I feel very alone and scared. It just seems to me that too many people remember past lives through dreams, visions, soul quests, hypnosis or just plain remembering. Is it all just a world-wide hoax, a mass affect that has spread from continent to continent. Skeptics will have proof from various studies, showing that due to the boom of the sudden interest, everybody was remembering the ‘bright light at the end of a long dark tunnel’. Perhaps this is a symptom due to the popularity and easy access of books that sprang up on the subject. However, I am certainly not a good theologist or a philosopher of any sort, but it’s worth pondering about.

Now, I realize that I’ve talked a lot about reincarnation, so I’ll bring this round to the topic at hand. Death, to me, is just another adventure. You are born, you live, you die. It happens to everybody. Nobody is immune to it. It’s a part of life, it’s natural. I have never understood why people shun the topic of death. I’ve always been fascinated with it. I’m not scared of death. (It’s how I’ll die that frightens me.) Death is an old friend, waiting patiently for my return. I like the fact that the Mexican’s celebrate death instead of being afraid of it. If you look at pictures of Día de los Muertos, you will see that honouring the dead can be a happy time. Sugar skulls, bright colours, grinning skeletons in fancy attire, what’s not to love?

Emperor, your sword won’t help you out
Sceptre and crown are worthless here
I’ve taken you by the hand
For you must come to my dance